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March 15, 2009



Well, I can't sell this house until things are legally settled but at least he's not living here. I'd be crazier than I already am over this legal hassle.
October 2004!? When I read that, my heart sank. But if it takes that long, what choice do I have? I just hope the process doesn't change me beyond recognition. Gotta hold on to my "self" and my hopes for the future.
You have my sympathy, support and best wishes. Stay sane.


You're not out of the woods yet but it sounds like you're on the right path.
If exman won't cooperate about repairs, TELL YOUR NEW LAWYER. Let her figure out how best to push the issue. The real estate agent is working for the two of you but have no authority to make anyone do anything.
Better days ARE coming...

Liz A.

That 2004 fact threw me for a loop, too. Chin up, I've found things always resolve themselves somehow.


I have been coming around here for a month or two and I agree than you need to do whatever you can to get out of that house...figure out the financial damage later. I do not know how you haven't snapped!!!!!

Midlife Slices

I'm still stuck on the Realtor change and I feel for them because I've been there and done that and it's not our job to referee or be a "go between" and then to have a listing go to another Realtor and THEN lowered, makes my blood boil. I'm not coming down on you because I don't know all the facts, but I'm saying that that poor Realtor is in a heck of a position and I feel for her.


Laura, Kids are overrated. They grow up quickly to take you for granted and to moan moan moan until they've got what they want from you. Then they disappear to Uni or what else only to reappear again when they want you 1) to buy them a car; 2) to pay their debts; 3) to baby-sit. I'm not looking forward to the future...Ciao. A.


Hope your new realtor brings you luck. And like morethananelectrician says, do whatever you have to do to get out even if it means having to sort out the financial damage later.

Have you tried aromatherapy during your open houses, like a vanilla candle or something that smells wonderful? They say it works. (I remember going years ago to look at a house and the odor from the kitchen was so awful, I just wanted to get out as soon as possible.)

Stepping Thru

On the subject of taking the girls to the mall - when she called you "bipolar brain" I would have turned that car around and headed right back to the house and if they had any complaints I would just remind them that nastiness gets them nowhere but kindness might get them a trip to the mall. You ARE more in control than you give yourself credit for.

Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

Beth, In October 04, I first filed. Then we worked on the marriage for a few months until the end of February, when I told him it's not working. Then he lost his job. So what was I going to do? Divorce him when he had no job and I was working in a temp job trying to earn my teacher's license? It took a long time for him to get a job and by that time the housing recession hit and he never even registered how I had been patient, he just took put on the mantle of nastiness and no compromises. You will NOT be a worst case scenario!

rockync, the lawyer heard the story and what he's doing, she is ready to pounce. I think. I hope.

Liz, I just hope I won't be so washed up and worn down by then that I can still enjoy that stage of my life. As much as I try not to let it get to me too much, it's just too too draining.

morethananelectrician, maybe the writing part really does help, not in the writing itself but in the looking at my life as an observer. Perhaps that ability to look from outside is what helps to hold myself together.

Midlife Slices, unfortunately, the realtors who get onboard have ended up being the go-between. I think this realtor has a chance because he picked her. Even though we both had to agree on the other realtor, I think he purposely played hard with him because he was "mine."

Antonella, it really is upsetting to have a child turn on you. I watch people with their little girls and their pigtails and I am so envious, because that time really was so sweet. Now, it's like a constant test of our wills. Luckily daughter number 2 has not turned, yet.

JC, before the next open house I think I'll back cookies. But the aromatheraphy idea is good too. Maybe I'll get those oil sticks.

Stepping Thru, I did turn the car around, and let her sweat it out a few miles. But then I turned around, because the angst, the tears and the turmoil had done their job. At least for that scene. And I really didn't want to head out there another time. Funnily, I got more for myself than they got.

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