I don’t know what happened to me the other day, but I wore a skirt without stockings or some kind of body shaping underpants that are really skin-tight shorts with extra fabric at the crotch. This dressing faux pas forced me to face the reality that wearing pants day in and day out has prevented me from realizing and that is that I have a uni-thigh. My two thighs are as one when they are not forced apart by pants.
Oh, the horror, the horror, to have the upper-thighs stick together as I walk. Whatever reason I had to wear the skirt that day (because it was a lovely day and I felt spring-y) was so overridden by the feeling that my body really is a piece of ripe fruit. Would anything but mushy pear thighs stick together? I can’t even blame the extreme heat and stickiness, no, it was warm but not that warm. No, my thighs gravitate toward each other as I gravitate toward pants.
What to do? First, I need to buy a new pair of undershorts since my last pair shredded from the pressure and my inability to care that a label says “hand-wash” or “air dry” when that is far too inconvenient. Second, retreat back to my pants, which wonderfully make me feel like a two-legged creature. Third, invest in some kind of exercise equipment that promises to give me thighs of steel by just thinking about doing the exercises. Fourth, move those legs. Act I must since I have decided that I do not want to relinquish my right as a woman to be cool and comfy in a skirt or dress on a hot summer day.
If you have any upper thigh exercises that are guaranteed to work, please pass on the secret. I’m ready to give it a squeeze.