A Minute to Myself (184)
I Have Nothing to Wear: Summer Clothes Department

The Symbolism of a Frozen Pizza

On my way back to the house, I stopped at a supermarket to get a frozen pizza for dinner and some other things for the next few days. In the same shopping center I stopped at Starbuck’s to get a Java chip frappuchino for my at-home daughter. Doesn’t sound like anything special, but to me it was smile-inducing because these stores are in my new shopping center, as in the shopping center near my new apartment—a home. I practically skipped out of the store, and I surely smiled at far too many people inside.

Oh, the joy to walk down aisles that are new to me. To be in a place that is mine, that represents where I am going and not where I have been. So many things encompass a life, there are so many things that can bring happiness and sadness, surely supermarket shopping is not one of them. But what could be better than to feel freedom, wherever it may occur, because that’s what I felt being there, in a new place that I have envisioned for years. Well, not quite the supermarket, but in a new neighborhood of my own—of being on my own.

Now I am back in the house and his loud steps are right above my head, muffling my thoughts. And I can hear that he has turned the water on. And again his loud steps, even with the carpeting. But this invasion into my thoughts will be over soon, so very soon. Tomorrow the movers are coming to move my things and younger daughter’s things to our new home and then on weekends until the closing I will be there with younger daughter, and then, on the same day that the school year ends, so should my association with this house and the day-to-day “living” in the same place as this man.

In the midst of my joy, though, I spoke with my mother who told me that a second-cousin is getting divorced. She has a restraining order against her husband. He has worked on and off, mostly off, for years. And he apparently has a drinking-various-things problem. So while I am about to step out of the tunnel, unfortunately I see someone else in the midst of her tunnel, with it getting farther and farther away from a light source. How, why, how, why does this happen to so many of us? Why are so many of us unhappy in our marriages? How is it that no matter how smart and self-aware we are, we find ourselves trapped in what had been love? Who is to blame? What is to blame?

I might be stepping out of my tunnel, but my tunnel-vision will remain with me to some extent because I never want to find myself in a tunnel again. As long as I remember what it has been like, I’m hoping I’ll be able to better direct my path.  And as long as someone else finds herself in her own dim tunnel, I hope I can offer some degree of solace, even if it is just out into the ether.



By stepping out of the tunnel, you're stepping into the light. What a wonderful feeling of freedom and excitement you must have. The delight of a new supermarket is you appreciating how life can be when you've been given the chance to start over. I'm so happy for you!

It's sad to hear that your cousin is now embarking on this path, but you can certainly be there for her and empathize with her situation. (Maybe even recommend a good lawyer.)


My grandmother, upon meeting my future husband, said to me (in the foreign language I have spoken since childhood, "It is always better if he loves you a little more than you love him. Then he will never hurt you. But you must be careful to never take that love foregranted."
She was a pretty sharp old grandma and I've been married to the same man for over 30 years now.


Good for you on the new apartment and may none of the nonsense I'm enduring happen to you there. And good for your second cousin getting out of that dangerous relationship. Restraining order? No thanks.


I like to think of my still existing tunnel vision as hard-earned wisdom. And you've helped guide and encourage me through my own tunnel.

Here's to your new neighbourhood, new grocery store and new life!


People change everyday. Some grow together and others apart. Equal amounts of sacrifice and work from both people are important...My wife and I are in a funny place right now and I am very confident that we will both learn to grow together even though we are on a different pace at the moment.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)