Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman
Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman is a blog that talks about life as it’s lived by intelligent midlife women, especially if they are miserably married, separated or divorced. You’ll find insights, thoughts and analyses of personal experiences, games of contemplation, and book excerpts, all about love, marriage, control, abuse, divorce, dating, children, the legal system, exes, and teaching to keep you company or let you know what your friends may be going through. To put some sweet into the bittersweet, I also write try (often succeessfully) to find the humor in the mundane, making life a bit more interesting.
Everything on this blog is Copyrighted to me--the writer. 2008. 2009.
The following are a few of the major categories of posts. There are, of course, posts that do not fit into these categories, but this is to give you a sense of the types of postings you'll find here.
Get Your Words Off Me
Get Your Words Off Me is a book that I wrote to understand how I went from being an independent, spur-of-the-moment woman to a woman who was oppressed in her own home by a husband who needed to control everything in his own little banana republic. I have taken a break from including excerpts because I need a break from dwelling on this, but there are three chapters-worth of excerpts already posted.
This first-person account of living with a controlling and ultimately abusive man is composed of stark reminisces, introspective analysis, and advice for those dealing with this, unfortunately, all too pervasive problem. Written in the contemplative style of books like An Unknown Woman, by Alice Koller, it also transforms the clinical analysis and brief anecdotes provided in the books of Patricia Evans (on controlling and verbally abusive people) and Beverly Engle (on emotionally abusive people) to create a book that was tough to write, but ultimately worthwhile for myself—and I hope you, too.
Get Your Words Off Me is my group hug to all women who have been verbally abused and controlled by a person they loved.
A Minute to Myself
A Minute to Myself is a game of self-reflection that I began when the emptiness that I was feeling wasn’t yet identified as stemming from being in a souring marriage. I hadn’t yet realized that my soul was being suppressed as I tried to conform to home-based expectations. The questions that I wrote for others to think about helped me to step back and assess my life, my self, and solemnly consider if that was where I wanted to be, if that was who I wanted to be.
The game is composed of questions to ask yourself (or a friend) in a number of categories. This isn’t a test, it’s just questions that are geared to give you a moment to sit quietly and contemplate on your life in ways that you might have ignored, denied, or simply never thought of.
Looking at Marriage in a Glass Half-full/Half-empty Way
In an effort to not put a black blanket over the entire course of my twenty-one year marriage and say HORRIBLE about it all, I have tried to look at things in a good/bad light. Most things have a flip side, so I tried to look at things from the rose-colored glasses aspect as well as the after-the-fall aspect.
It’s Finally Over
As you can no doubt tell, I love creating games that revolve around moments of contemplation. This series of games is actually the last chapter in Get Your Words Off Me. It’s composed of a number of contemplation games that can help you work past the sadness, frustration, disappointment, anger at your failed marriage, and that man you had once loved.
Symbolism of Sometimes things—objects—stand for other, deeper things. As I look around, and see the things that accompany life, I think about what those things represent, what they mean, what they symbolize. And those thoughts help me connect with the world; and so I share those thoughts with you, to make even more connections. Israel Story I've gotten nostalgic, and so have begun telling the tale of when I first visited and then moved to Israel. This is practically ancient history (my first visit was in 1982), but it is fun to revisit who I was then and to recollect my impressions of the land of milk and honey from my original perspective of a NYC girl.
Thoughts
You can’t keep a thinker down. My brain goes for the pithy, and this is a collection of some of my pithy insights into life.
Assorted
My almost daily essays on life as I live it is meant to be a connecting thread to other women who are, well, living. This is my parting of the curtain to my life, because I always want to know what other people are thinking, feeling, experiencing—it’s why I read, and why I write—to share and understand each other.
I invite your comments, insights, reflections and those pithy thoughts of your own.
Laura.
Hi, I just stepped over from BlogHer. I'm making myself late for work but your have some remarkable pieces here on you blog.
I have no doubt, you are a writer. He must have been plenty scared to suppress you skills and spirit.
Blessing on you liberated journey.
Posted by: Gena | July 01, 2008 at 08:44 AM
Gena, thanks so much for your kind words. It is so liberating to be out of the drawer!
The worst thing that you can do to yourself or let be done to you is to think that someone is better than you, because that enables you to fold up yourself and become a rug to be walked on.
Posted by: Laura | July 01, 2008 at 09:02 AM
found you via Blogher and the Madonna piece. I had read about her situation earlier today. your take was interesting because I really hadn't thought she might be sincere.
you have a nice blog.
Posted by: annie | October 19, 2008 at 02:20 AM
Annie, thanks for visiting and your compliments. I'm off to return the visit.
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | October 19, 2008 at 08:52 AM