A Minute to Myself (4)
Get Your Words Off Me: Excerpt One

It’s Finally Over (4): Basic Human Needs

The following are what I perceive as the basic human needs of a woman living with a controlling man, or in an abusive situation, or recovering from being in one. These are based on my life and my thoughts, so they may not correspond to what you need. So, once you go over this list, think about yourself and your own needs, change the list so it reflects the basic needs of your situation. You may also want to note if you have fulfilled those needs, or what you need to do or happen so that they will be fulfilled.

·        Confidence that you deserve more than you are getting from your marriage

·        Hope that you can get out of your current situation safely and that things will improve

·        Space where you can feel safe and free from interruptions, tantrums and abuse; a place where you can be and feel free

·        Encouragement from people who listen to you and support you as you work towards imagining and creating a different future

·        Human touch a hug that reminds you that a physical touch is a wonderful thing, so that you do not forgo thinking about being loved and loving again

·        Outings with friends to make you see that there are people who care about you and are concerned about your well-being

·        Career so that you can fill your days with experiences and memories other than what your marriage is depriving you of

·        Job even if you still need monetary support, it will enable you to feel self-reliant and will give you pride of accomplishment

·        Money to hire a lawyer and begin the process of separating and divorcing, and distancing yourself from your hurtful present


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