A Minute to Myself (21)
Looking at Marriage from a Glass Half-full/Half-empty Way

Gestures of Love

In the “Shoop Shoop Song,” Cher harmonizes that you can tell if a man loves you by his kiss:

If you want to know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
(That's where it is oh yeah)

Sorry Cher, but I disagree. A kiss is nice, but it is so expected, so practiced, so run-of-the-mill even. (Not that I object to kisses, but not as a testament of one’s love.) For me, one of the tenderest of gestures, and therefore a true sign of love, is the hand on the small of the back. And if the hand is open, with fingers splayed, well, that’s truly it for me. What more could a woman want than a man’s gentle touch on a non-sexual part of her body, indicating that he is there beside her, with her, protecting her, but in no way attempting to encircle, suppress, direct or bed her.

A man’s hand on the small of a woman’s back as he and his love walk side by side down a street or as they stand beside each other indicates that he wants to be in her presence, that he respects her, that is enchanted by her, that he loves her—for who she is. There is no need to add his presence (or even his kiss) to her, she is a standalone goddess, and this is how he shows his reverence. You don’t change a work of art to appreciate it, it’s very existence is what takes your breath away; and, to me, that is what that gentle gesture indicates.

If a man casually cradles his palm into the small of your back, wow, tingle time. It’s about care and protection. He’s protecting you without tackling you. He’s touching you just enough for you to know that he is there without overpowering you with his presence. And there is certainly none of that arm around your shoulder so that you fit into his armpit thing.

Not only is it absolutely sensual in a non rip-my-clothes-off way, but it is like the perfect perfume, gently easing into your senses without your being aware of it, and you are enhanced by it without even realizing it.

It’s a morning whisper of affection in public. Hey, babe, I’m here beside you, quietly before the day begins. Getting centered in my day by being with you. And how are you?

Can anything beat that?

 

When I see a man beside a woman with his hand there, at the small of her back, I think I see the embodiment of love, the kind that is compassionate and caring. The kind that I want.

Comments

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)