Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

I met my husband on a bus in Israel when he was 19 and I was 21. I had been visiting the country for six months, and he was doing his military service. He sat next to me on the Haifa-Tiberias bus, and we attempted to hold a conversation in elementary Hebrew and English, and then he came to visit me for a couple of hours the next day on the kibbutz where I was staying until I flew to London the next day. When I returned to New York there was an exchange of letters; I even told a friend that I could fall in love with the writer of those letters. And when I returned to Israel to live, he came to visit me. The fairy tale romance truly began, then, on a beach in the ancient city of Acre on the Mediterranean. We dated for two years, and then married. At that point it was still the fairy tale, with the tall, dark stranger.

Did the fairy tale come to an end when I realized that although opposites attract, those opposite qualities don’t necessarily create a sturdy foundation for a relationship? Or did the fairy tale come to an end when the prince realized that his princess’s world would not revolve exclusively around the prince? Or perhaps it was when the princess realized that personality traits needed to woo a woman are not the same as those needed to nestle a woman and a family. Strength, while appealing in its “I can protect you” mode, is not appealing when in its “I will decide everything” mode.

That instinct bred in us by being too familiar with the Grimm brothers, and Hans Christian Anderson, and Walt Disney, needs to be subdued with a bit more realism. Romance is wonderful, as long as it’s tempered with more of a realistic take on life; or add at least a chapter on how the prince and princess not only overcame the odds to be together, but how they learned to live within their love, because it ain’t easy—and love is not always a guarantee of a happy ending. 

I guess the moral of the story is that the prince and princess will not stay as they are, and their lives will not stay the same, and if they change so much that they would no longer fall in love on a bus, it is time to go their separate ways, and try to find a happy ending elsewhere.  

Anybody know someone nice for me? I’d like to go the more traditional route next time.   

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