I Have Nothing to Wear: Bra Department
January 14, 2009
May I say with all honesty that I hate bras. Yes, I know that I wanted to start a fancy nursing bra company, but I did not. And I have had a hate/resigned attitude towards bras ever since I realized that I must wear one every time I leave the house. I have tried to wear two tee-shirts (that was long before it was a fashion statement called layering, and an excuse for companies to sell more color-coordinated tee shirts); and camis (with and without shelving); and even to go without any breast support or extra covering. Inevitably I keep going back to the standard breast-imprisonment system.
The moment I walk into the house, it is off. And when I go on long-distance car rides, I eschew the pleasure of having a piece of elastic tightly wrapped around my rib cage rubbing and grating, and at least one strap that always falls below expectations (that being the expectation to stay on the shoulder). I would go without altogether, but there is a noticeable difference from when I wear one to when I do not, and it is about a five inch difference (where people assume breasts should be as opposed to where gravity has decided mine should be).
I have had the pleasure of spending a lot of money at Victoria’s Secret for bras that promise to make me look and feel like an angel, and they are relatively comfortable. And I have gone the way of sports bras that smoosh one’s breasts in the opposite way than a mammogram does. But through it all, I have retained my intense hatred of this restraining device. They're just always uncomfortable. Now I am sure that plenty of women are going to say that they have no problem wearing a bra, that they don’t even notice that it’s there; well, lucky you is all I have to say. I don’t think that the problem is that I haven’t found the bra for me (kind of like I haven’t found the man for me), but rather it’s just not for me.
Compared to the other clothes we wear, this one item stands out as working against nature. Bras are not there to cover or protect us from the elements, no, their sole purpose is to prevent two parts of our body from being free. It is in no way like a sweater that gives a warm, snuggly feeling just by gently touching the skin. Nor is it akin to a pair of pants, even if it is tight and hard to button, because its purpose is not to make you suffer, it’s just that you bought the wrong size or became the wrong size, for this the pants cannot be held accountable. And even the beleaguered turtle neck, which I cannot abide (not to wear and not to see, especially on men) is an optional garment, so there’s no problem there. I will admit that the other restraining device, the girdle or whatever new word we have for similar devices, are just as uncomfortable, but here, it’s generally only required a few times a year—not every day. (You can tell that I don’t go to a lot of parties or on many dates.)
I don’t plan to go back to my free-bouncing days; I am simply presenting myself as a beleaguered woman who has been harmed by society and its norms, and the fashion world for its complete lack of creativity and problem solving. You know the old story, if they can get a man on the moon, then….
I’m writing this at home, in my room, and I am, oh, so comfortable without you know what. I wonder if I think differently when wearing and when not?
Having come of age in the braless sixties and now having gained enough age as to be affected by gravity, I too must wear a bra but hate it just the same. Victoria's Secret has a least supplied me with the means to push everything back where it belongs, but how I long for the days when my body was young and perky and I could get away with going braless!
I am not really lamenting having breasts, I mean there are women fighting courageously through breat cancer and I in no way wish to diminish their struggle - I just wish we didn't have to wear elastic and wires and straps; honestly, would men wear these things!?!
Posted by: rockync | January 14, 2009 at 06:39 AM
My chiro recommended a custom-fit bra - I'll let you know if that helps at all. Because I share all of your complaints.
Posted by: April | January 14, 2009 at 09:06 AM
Yeah, back in the days when I was a 34B all bras felt fine and they never bothered me...not so much now. I have one VS Ipex that isn't bad. I think I need to be fitted again. If your straps are falling down, then you definitely have the wrong bra. I think VS is good, but there are specialty shops that will really take the time to find the exact bra that fits in every spot. I've never wanted to spend the money, but hear it's worth it for some. Like you, I never wear a bra at home. The boobies need freedom. The amount of elastic and metal that it takes to get them up and out is astounding sometimes. I do throw caution to the wind and go without in public occasionally, much to the joy of my husband.
Posted by: Liz A. | January 14, 2009 at 09:33 AM
LOL ... that was too funny! Who created these wonders anyway? Let me guess ... a man!
Thanks for the grins and giggles!
Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com
Posted by: Small Footprints | January 14, 2009 at 09:40 AM
Aaah, the good old days! No bra, no skin tight tee-shirts. The freedom. It has only been in the last 5 years that I've started wearing a bra. And yes I hate it. I've often thought about why I do it, and there are a couple of reasons: So I can be fashionable and wear those skin tight tops, so that my daughter isn't embarressed by her mother not wearing one, and because living in a very small community, I would be accused of tempting the local men. What has happened over the last several years? Women's lib and bra burning, gave us freedom, and suddenly in a blink of an eye, we've conformed again, much to our discomfort. Hmm, wonder what the boss would say if I rocked up without a bra.
Posted by: Brigit | January 14, 2009 at 01:56 PM
I never wear bras at home. I hate them. I wear one when I go out though because I don't like my nips to show (it makes me self-conscious. Or should I say "shelf" conscious?.I also don't want to be 70 years old with my boobs down to my knees. Yes, in some things I buy into how our culture says women should look.
Posted by: Dingo | January 14, 2009 at 03:24 PM
rockync, what would men wear if they had breasts? They would all have nipple rings into which they would tie a string to one of the rings and then have it go around the neck and then connect to the other nipple. They are always so inventive when they save money--DIY.
April, okay, we're waiting to hear about the custom-fit bra. We are also expecting it to be in leopard print!
Liz, the one specialty shop I went to was with my mother in some discount underwear store. Having a woman staring at your breasts when you are in your teens is pretty intimidating, even today just thinking about it doesn't encourage me to search out a specialty shop.
When I was still in my perky 20's, someone yelled out to me (mind you this was in Israel) that I should put a bra on. I guess that kind of frontal movement is not modest. But heck, I did meet a lot of guys there.
Small Footprints, I wish we could return the favor to them. What do they have? They have boxers and cotton undershirts. Seriously, they are far too comfy. I guess the only payback they have is having to wear a tie.
Brigit, I don't want to imagine what would happen in my classes if those 14-year old girls took off their bras. Maybe the cleavage would go down a bit (even with them and all of the shove-ups), but then surely no learning would be accomplished.
Dingo, when my younger daughter first starting wearing a "sports bra" she wore it to sleep. I just looked at her and thought, just you wait, soon you'll be ripping that thing off of yourself.
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | January 14, 2009 at 04:28 PM
LOL! This is so true! Thanks for dropping by my site!
Posted by: Jess | January 14, 2009 at 05:42 PM
I think all women hate bras... too strong a word... NO.. WE HATE BRAS!!!. I long for a 34B again but the darn things keep growing. What's up (or down) with that?
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment... Another Virginian I see... YAY.
Posted by: D | January 14, 2009 at 05:46 PM
It's like you are reading thoughts from my mind. I wear bras only when I absolutely must.
Posted by: shonda | January 14, 2009 at 07:49 PM