Just Call Me Big Mouth
March 09, 2009
One of my myriad pet peeves is that people ignore the rules of the road when they are in parking lots. All of a sudden it doesn’t matter if someone is in the crosswalk, if you’re in your car—you go. This really annoys me. I imagine myself being hit and while I am down my bags of groceries (some in recyclable bags) fly into the sky and do a few somersaults before being crushed by another rule-ignorer’s car. So, when a woman drove right in front of me today when I was in the middle of the crosswalk in front of a supermarket I was pissed and I wasn’t going to take it anymore. Oh no, I know when to speak up.
I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I hadn’t been in the middle of the crosswalk, or if I had just taken a few steps, then I would I do my usual annoyed look and pissed off sound in my head. If the person’s window was open I might call out to them reminding them of the law: STOP FOR PEDESTRIANS. I mean I have done this before—and in this shopping center—but today, well today I was in the middle and my life was almost endangered and I was having none of it.
The woman pulled into a parking spot very close to the crosswalk and my car, so I waited for her to get out of her car.
And there I was with my snarky little comment, “You know, it’s expected that you stop when someone is in the crosswalk.”
Her response wanted me to rewind the tape and just walk to my car without the little confrontation, but the words had been spoken.
“I’m sorry. I just had a miscarriage. I’m not really focusing” was her very, very unexpected reply.
Shit, Laura, you had to open your big mouth. “I’m so sorry” I said and I broke the code and put a hand on her shoulder. She said “sorry” again with a voice that was about to break into sobs and turned and walked to the supermarket.
I’m just going to say one insensitive thing, and then go back to my little hole. If she’s not able to focus and is so distraught, should she be driving?
Okay, back to me being a big mouth who needs to learn to shut it and stop trying to educate the world.
Ouch. This is why I don't like confrontations with strangers. You just never know.
Posted by: Pseudo | March 09, 2009 at 09:40 AM
I get what you say about parking lots. They are the most dangerous place to be for pedestrians.
As far as the woman, have not all of us, at one time or another, been driving and distracted by our thoughts or emotions, and made some stupid blunder because of it?
Posted by: searchingwithin | March 09, 2009 at 10:02 AM
While that was one of those awkward moments, if she was so unfocused and distraught, wouldn't it have been more responsible for her to get someone to drive her or do her shopping for her instead of being on the road ready to potentially take another life? She should not have been driving!
I'm not hard hearted here, the poor woman has my sympathies for her miscarriage, I'm sure she is devastated, but does not one person in her immediate family have a lick of sense to realize she should NOT be operating a 3,000 pound lethal weapon!?!
Posted by: rockync | March 09, 2009 at 10:53 AM
Lets look at this another way. What if she had just run over a child in the crosswalk and gave the lame excuse "I'm not really focusing"? That is no excuse for endangering others. You were right to confront her and maybe, just maybe you saved someones life by making her aware of what she just did. Don't feel bad about speaking up.
Posted by: Stepping Thru | March 09, 2009 at 02:45 PM
You and my husband are cut from the same cloth when it comes to calling people on their bad behavior. I tend to avoid confrontation, but if someone almost ran me over, I'd at least give a dirty look while mentally flipping them off. Of course if you would have known the circumstances, you wouldn't have commented. Instead, you reacted with compassion when she gave her explanation. But like the others have written, this woman shouldn't have been driving.
Posted by: JC | March 09, 2009 at 04:12 PM
That is why I sometimes just rant here instead of confronting the person...you just never know.
Posted by: morethananelectrician | March 09, 2009 at 10:04 PM
And it could have been something she made up or she was using it as an excuse. What the hell was she doing going to the supermarket if she was so distraught? Do I sound insensitive?? Don't worry about it, she should have been told so she'll remember next time.
Posted by: Midlife Slices | March 09, 2009 at 11:49 PM
Yikes! I have to agree with many of the commenters here...should one be driving when they can't focus? Good thing, you'll hopefully never see this person again...so just let it go...
Posted by: Caroline (the zen in you) | March 10, 2009 at 02:07 AM
I have often opened my big mouth and had something like that happen. The important thing is that you made a connection with her that was meaningful. I call that GRACE.
Posted by: She | March 10, 2009 at 03:21 PM
Now after reading all of your comments I have decided that I don't regret that I said it to her, but that still doesn't lessen the fact that I hurt a woman who was already hurting so much. And about shutting up in the future, nah, I think I'll probably keep trying to educate the world. Why waste a personality trait?
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | March 13, 2009 at 07:18 PM