Trying to Make Lemonade
March 22, 2009
Saturday morning exman kept yelling at me and shoving his little tape recorder friend and his middle finger in my face while scowling at me that I am breaking a court order because I have brought in a handyman to do repairs without his approval. Then, he went to calling me balloon balloon balloon and that I finally look the way I am inside. He said this while a couple of the handymen were in the house, as well as older daughter.
When I told older daughter that I need to get out of the house she asked me why? Are you kidding? I just laughed back at her and she laughed back at me and nodded her head. I asked her if she wants to come, but she said no.
On my retreat from the house a minute later she texted me that she wants to get out too, and where am I going.
To get out of the garage an assistant handyman had to hold up the garage door because they were fixing it. Trying not to knock him over I ended up knocking over the paint container that he didn't move over enough. It ended up splashing my silver car with white paint. The chief handyman called me Madam and said that they would clean it, that it was acylic paint, not to worry.
There I stood, on the lawn facing away from the house, as I cried while a few men cleaned my car.
It was so much nicer to be called Madam than that other thing that stupid exman called me.
Daughter didn't come with me, she didn't like my option of just going to sit somewhere.
Out of that house. Courteous greeting. Lemonade to me.
Later, I got a pitcherful of lemonade. Both daughters went out for a late lunch with me. How wonderful. We sat, we talked, we ate, we laughed, they ribbed each other and they even said thank you, as did I. How sweet a glass of lemonade can be.
Please excuse me, while I go punch a wall. This man is an ass and I just want to come out of my skin right now. Who the hell does he think he is, talking to you this way? And in front of your daughters...his daughters...and total strangers? Laura I am so sorry that you continue to have to endure this pain of an ass inflicting his poison upon you. His talking this way...acting this way, shows what a small small man that he is.
I am so angry that I have tears. Maybe because I have lived with this myself, for way too many years and now that I don't any longer, hearing things or seeing things like this, instantly angers me. Very seldom do I ever feel like hitting anyone because I am not a violent person or a fighter but right now I just want to hit this man until he gets it through his head that he should not treat people in this way.
Sorry to hear about the pain mishap. I am glad that you got out of there and had a nice lunch with your girls. I want to hug you right now. If I had the money, I would pay for you to move today. Laura please don't believe the cruel words he said to you. Hugs and love to you my friend, Lori
Posted by: Lori | March 22, 2009 at 05:59 AM
Strange how it's repairmen and handymen who treat us with such respect and care. (My stove...) Life is crazy.
The one good thing that came out of this latest disaster is a good time with your daughters. Lemons can turn into something sweet.
Posted by: Beth | March 22, 2009 at 06:01 AM
There will be more sweet lemonade days soon. Your daughters see you standing up and that will make a world of difference, too.
Posted by: rockync | March 22, 2009 at 09:52 AM
Just focus on your beautiful time you spent with your daughters. Forget all the rest. Bad memories ar not worth having. People who don't respect you deserve to be forgotten istantly. A big hug to you! Ciao. Antonella
Posted by: Antonella | March 22, 2009 at 03:38 PM
I am waiting for baited breath for the day when he finds out you hired a killer woman lawyer. I have fantasies about him just so completely being beside himself...so bad..that he has to be committed. Do I reek of wanting revenge for you...YES!
My mom used to tell me that the best revenge is living well. Today you did a little of that with your daughters...Good for you.
Posted by: Gwen | March 22, 2009 at 04:12 PM
So glad you were able to turn such a negative horrible situation into a positive memory with your daughters. I wish you Godspeed on getting out of there and starting your new life.
Posted by: JC | March 22, 2009 at 04:57 PM
Your daughters are learning something so valuable from you, their strong mother. How to cope, how to drink lemonade when your heart is hurting. I'm sorry ex(hu)man treated you so disrespectfully and is exposing your daughters to the emotional pain of listening to their dad hurt their mom. I'm glad you've got this forum to vent.
Posted by: phd in yogurtry | March 22, 2009 at 05:21 PM
Lori, you wonder sometimes why good people get sick but bad people don't. I'm not sure what lesson there is, but it makes trying to make sense of life futile. It also makes trying, in spite of all the badness, to still be good and share goodness worthwhile because why, why rain down pain on people on purpose. Hugs and love to you, as always, especially as you deal with your loss.
Beth, why is it that the more education some people attain seems to make them think they don't have to live by the basic kindergarten tenet of just being nice? It was lovely lemonade.
rockync, the memory of her laughing when she realized what a stupid question that she asked will stay with me. It's nice to feel love and not just give it.
Antonella, good advice. Focus on the positive. If there is anything that I have learned from this ordeal, it is that I will not let him bring me to his level and that I need to review the experience and then let it go.
Gwen, what was special about them coming with me was that we all enjoyed ourselves, it wasn't that they were humoring me or appeasing me. Regarding him, I just want someone to bring his ego down a few notches.
JC, SOMEONE MAKE AN OFFER ON THIS HOUSE. Yes, I can't wait until the memories are strawberries, pure and sweet.
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | March 22, 2009 at 05:37 PM
oh crap and crap again. what utter horseshit. i'm glad you can write
about it with such clarity.
Posted by: maggie | March 22, 2009 at 07:41 PM
I'm hoping I don't have all that to look forward to. My story on the blog tomorrow--sort of.
Anyway, I read a fabulous book called, The Storms Can Hurt the Sky -- A Buddhist Path Through Divorce. Much better advice than the three marriage counselors I've seen throughout the years.
Posted by: prefers her fantasy life | March 23, 2009 at 07:22 AM