A Minute to Myself (171)
April 03, 2009
Solitude
Are you able to find the strength within yourself to change those things that you believe need to be changed in yourself and your life?
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I think so. I hope so.
Posted by: JC | April 03, 2009 at 11:39 AM
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. When I don't, I true to put all that therapy to work to rationalize through whatever I think needs to be done.
Posted by: Liz A. | April 03, 2009 at 01:45 PM
I tend to slowly evolve. I'll have a moment when the light goes on and there is clarity. Once the thought is in my head, it is not so much that I pursue but just keep it in my consciousness and eventually, change comes.
Posted by: rockync | April 03, 2009 at 04:29 PM
I just wish outside forces wouldn't keep thwarting me. Maybe that's part of the change, dealing with frustrations but not letting them overtake me.
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | April 04, 2009 at 04:58 AM
Laura, that is a common problem whether the outside forces are hostile or not. Right now, I have several things I want to explore, but with work and two very sick relatives, it is difficult to find any spare time.
I could use some of my internet time and probably will eventually, but I think you have already found the answer:
"...dealing with frustrations but not letting them overtake me."
Posted by: rockync | April 04, 2009 at 07:53 AM
rockync, sorry to hear about your relatives being sick. That must be such an emotional drain, notwithstanding the time you want to give to them.
I keep trying to tell myself that this is life, the inside and outside forces competing. I guess balance is when you find a place for all of the forces and it doesn't feel like you're always missing something.
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | April 04, 2009 at 08:47 AM
Thank you, Laura. The illnesses of each of these relatives is emotionally draining but I give them my time and support ungrudgingly - it is what I want to do, for them and for me.
But, here's a real problem especially for women; we always put ourselves last. We operate under the belief that our purpose is to edify our spouses and our children. Do you ever feel deep down like you are not worthy to "take" time for your pursuits? I think society and family, in subtle ways instills this in girls, or at least it used to.
I am learning to take what I want when it is important to me - not without a little guilt but I'm learning to overcome that. I'm important and the universe wants me to succeed and be happy. And the universe wants you to succeed and be happy, too.
WE are our biggest obstacles and we have to fight against generations of conditioning and break out of the mold we don't want to fit into.
The upside of all that bucking of the status quo is that you actually become a much more productive and interesting person when you move through life fearlessly.
Posted by: rockync | April 04, 2009 at 10:05 PM
rockync, I can answer that by stating that my marriage lasted for almost 22 years because I put him and then the girls before me all of the time. "Oh, no, dear, you sleep because you're making money while I'm just here taking care of your daughters." Or, "I won't go to graduate school, but I'll support you while you go to law school, because really, you're more important." No wonder he was shocked when I started bucking the status quo. Part of the problem is that we think if we're nice there will be reciprocity--it takes a long time to realize that boys are not raised that way.
I hope that my daughters will be strong enough not to give in, and that they were more aware when I was doing my own thing than when I was giving in.
Moving through life fearlessly. Maybe that's the mantra I need to state to myself everyday!
Posted by: Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman | April 05, 2009 at 09:52 AM