A Minute to Myself (172)
A Minute to Myself (173)

A Spring-Break Break

On Tuesday morning I will be flying to California with older daughter to check out the university that she plans to attend. During that time I will not take my laptop with me because I want to take a break from my routine. A routine that encompasses checking my email too many times an hour, and reading too many articles and blogs that often end up making me feel like I have filled my time but not used it. Not taking the laptop is symbolic of my desire to assess what I want out of my life, see what it is that I am doing that is preventing me, see what I do that is helping me, and come up with more ways and things to do that will make me feel more content and purposeful, and maybe even happy.  

During this time I will try to take a break from thinking about:

THIS BLOG and how it has not met my expectations. I had hoped to be discovered by an agent or editor who would offer me a book deal for my book (Get Your Words Off Me) or a new book, or a job (paying even) as a columnist. I had hoped, too, that I would be a success—according to the numbers. While I have not met any of those goals, I have met others, but still there is a very strong sense of failure. And to counter that I need to reassess what it is that I want to do with this blog and with my writing. By writing I mean “meaning of my life,” because for me that is what writing is: it distills me, it stills me, it defines me to myself. I need to think, too, of other ways to define myself.

In two weeks I will have reached my one year blogiversary. Much has been achieved in this year of which I am quite proud. My writing has improved; even though I still use too many commas, I think that I have depth, style, interest and relevance. I have finally managed to write funny, to reflect a key part of myself. I have written almost every day on a range of subjects; I did not have trouble finding what to write about. I have had insights from cherished readers and much-needed comfort, too. I have come to believe that I am a writer, and not just say that I want to be a writer or envision myself as a writer. But where to go from here? Do I stay here? Do I challenge myself with writing something longer and more developed that could find itself to a bookstore? Of course, the best thing about the blog was that it wasn’t daunting, it was fun to sit down for a couple of hours writing a post (alternating, of course, with watching tv, doing dishes, cooking, munching and supervising my daughters) so that I never felt that I was facing the almighty blank page. Okay, enough thinking about this here, I need something to do this week. 

MEN especially those who don’t respond to my emails and/or my picture. I need to just take a break from being concerned about why someone does not like me and just forget about it. I need to take a breather from worrying about people who I don’t know and who don’t want to get to know me. Talk about a waste of time and an emotional drain.

WORK, or the frustrations of classroom management and my “brusque” personality, and focus instead on what I like about teaching and maybe come up with new ways to interest myself in what I am doing and my students in what I am teaching.

THE HOUSE and how it has not sold in two years. I have done what I could do, the past is past, now I need to charge forward with the new lawyer to get the house sold and get me and my daughters out of this ridiculous situation. But I will neither think of the past nor the present, I will try to restrict my mind to future-thinking. 

ex-husband. Enough said.

What I will think about as I walk along the Pacific Ocean are the people I have met through my blog and your blogs, and how much that has meant to me in the past year. In fact, I will be having dinner with a blogging friend and her family on my trip. Between having bonding time with older daughter who has, of late, come to be respectful and kind to me; trying to figure out our way around LA (even with a GPS system in the car, something I have never used before); trying to plead our case to the financial aid people; and deciding where to go amongst all the choices; I will be will be working on my vision of myself and for myself.

(A Minute to Myself questions will be appearing in its regular every other day schedule during this break.)



Blogging shouldn't be about the numbers - it's a means to express ourselves, put our thoughts in writing - and you do that so well. Hope you don't stop.
Also hope you're successful in reassessing your life while away - but more importantly, have a good time! Take a real break - from everything!


I agree with Beth about the blogging numbers. do what you enjoy. Have a great Spring Break.


I agree with those who say that blogging should not be about the numbers, it is a means of self expression... that being said, shoot me an email as I have something you might be interested in. (No, I am NOT going to try to sell you anything. I promise!)


Maybe blogging shouldn't be about the numbers, but it's hard not to get discouraged. On the bright side, I've enjoyed reading your posts.


No,no,no. The blog is not a failure. It takes lots of hard work and time to get the numbers coming in and lots of luck. I did not start hitting good numbers until about a year into it. I wound up writing for a movie website in the UK as a guest writer, guest hosted a podcast show. Been interviewed and have had people writing blog entries about me. You will know you have made it when someone dedicates a post to bashing you. Take that as the ultimate compliment. It has happened to me several times.

Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

Beth, it truly was a break. And now I am ready to start anew. Isn't ath always a good thing, to begin something and not just continue it.

Constance, thanks for the numberless vote of confidence.

Ms. Darkstar, as much as the numbers shouldn't matter, they still do. There are different ways to assess and evaluate ourselves, and like it or not, for me outside validation is still important.

JC, those kind of kind comments make each number a multiple.

Richardo, so is that you way of saying it's better to remain small? My one little bash on someone else's blog was upsetting enough. Although maybe it wasted two seconds of my fame allotment. Why would anyone bash you? Insane people the world over!

Happy Pesach! Keep those matzas coming!


They bashed me once because Jews didn't count in one man's eyes ad I had to adhere to the News testament and was gambling with my bid at eternal life remaining a Jew. I hit him where he lived and he was really a closeted homosexual using religion as a crutch. Another time I stuck up for a woman who was not Playboy centerfold material but posed nude and was attacked by a man that needed manners. Another time a so called "feminist"said that I should be punched because I used the word "b*tch" in a post explaining why mean can act poorly at times and how they think. The word was used in the context of a jaded man and how he sees things. I wrote a guide on how women could better understand men. I set out for it to be helpful and many women thanked me. I reminded her that it wasn't lady like to threaten to hit me over something she admitted to not fully reading and I called into question how she would feel if I threatened to clock her. It would have been the end of the world and I would have been a monster and so on. Let's not use double standards in the name of equal treatment here.

It's a good thing to get bashed on other blogs in some ways. It means you got them going. Any publicity is good publicity. But yes, attacks do hurt. Praise is better.

Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

Ricardo, it's always interesting to see how others think. When I'm writing what I say makes so much sense to me and is so clear, it's always fascinating how others just aren't seated in my head and so don't get it as I do. You've definitely had some interesting bashes, and your bashes-back are interesting as well.

I love your blog!

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