5770: Starting Off Quietly
On Being 48

Losing My Touch

Somehow I have forgotten how to deal with the everyday arrogance of some men. It seems that I have been blissfully in control of all behaviors standing there in front of my classroom. Anytime I sense attitude from my, generally, male students I could turn to him to suggest another way of acting without in any way feeling that I am imposing upon his spirit and certainly without his feeling that he has altered mine. After all, he has been placed in my classroom to learn from me not just what to do with an apostrophe (oh, the horror since they are all but forgotten in this age of txtng) but how to be a decent, civilized man of the world who does not think he is heads above any and all women. And let me tell you, I have been fastidious in this. Just ask Harold, who I had last year. In response to the question, “What have you learned this year in or out of school?” he wrote that he “learned he can never win against a teacher.” His mother, I think, thanks me. I met both her and her husband, and I think she would have liked to send her husband to my classroom for some lessons too. (He was a meeting time-hog.)

Even the arrogance of the men who have demonstrated their arrogance in an email exchange or even a date, I have managed to quickly put behind me with an equal amount of bravado or arrogance since there was no reason to be coy since the very purpose of the endeavor was the culling itself, if necessary.

All of which brings me to the phlebotomist who did the initial poking and interview with me prior to donating blood. I sensed that man-to-woman condescension that I have not experienced for some time. It was a bit of a shock to have him attempt to demean me and ask me questions at the same time. In those instances I suddenly became cold and persnickety, forcing him to speak clearly. Did I do that because it tends to dull the tone? Or because I wanted to be sure that I am answering the question asked and not what I think he has said and to force him back to his job and not to think he can toy with me?

Thankfully another woman came in to finish the interview and yet another female phlebotomist drew the blood.

I’m glad my antennae are still working. I’m glad, too, that I have not needed them for some time. Maybe on the whole things are getting better in the world of male egocentricity. It’s certainly about time. But have no fear, I won’t trade in my antennae just yet. 



Don't ever lose those antennae, your intuition or your ability to deal with egocentric men - they are still out there. Fortunately, there are many who are not - whom I (we) can trust and be ourselves with.
I'm including my sons in that latter group... ;)


I laugh at the male ego. Poor unevolved things (not all men, just the chauvinists).


I'm thankful for the wonderful men I have in my life...to remind me that not all men are narcissistic immature boys!


Whenever I encounter that male arrogance, I make it a point to nip it in the bud. I am an intelligent, practical human being and I'll be damned if anyone talks down to me.
I'm sure as soon as I walk away the bitch word gets bandied about as well as speculation on time of month, etc. But, hopefully I have stung just enough to make the dumb clod think twice before opening his idiotic cakehole the next time!


Speaking from the male perspective, I must agree with you. There is a disproportionately large amount of men who are absolute assholes simply for the purposes of being one.

Laura of Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

Beth, I am sure your sons are the exemplars of a new-man. At very brief moments I used to wish I had a son, but maybe I would have gone overboard with the lectures and the dolls with him.

JC, yes, chauvinists. Anyone who thinks that he or she is better than anyone else just because he/she breathes is bound to be unbearable.

April, perhaps because there are so many evolved men the throwbacks are so unsettling.

rockync, there is absolutely nothing wrong with flaunting the bitchiness when it reality it is pne of the best ways to show a man how little he is--in so many ways.

Geo, it does seem to me that many men seem to mellow with age, or their egos whittle down after so much hard use. Of course this does not pertain to many a politicians who seem to have an unending supply of arrogance.


I've been having the opposite problems. I've been encountering female arrogance all over. On the phone, in the shops and even experience from female doctors! I've been looking for the so-called "female solidarity" but it seems to have gone lost in this crazy competitive world! Maybe it's just my bad luck. The main thing is just not to let oneself by male or female bullies equally! Wish you all the best. Ciao. A.


Y'know, Laura, some men - some people - are just, well, dicks. And there isn't anything you can do about it, unfortunately.


I got hit with female arrogance these last few days and I will say it was even more unpleasant than male arrogance. I don't mind it much so as long as the arrogance is not fed off berating me. But that would be a person with confidence which is healthy and productive.


I love that you cull them out straight away. Go you. (Not that I believe you require cheering. I'm just glad for you.)

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